Sunday, March 4, 2012

Feeling pretty powerful

Well, today was good. I weighed myself six times this morning. Over and over and over because I couldn't believe I'd lost over 3 lbs this week. Of course, that meant that the Weight Watchers tracker thing had to warn me to slow down. You're losing TOO FAST. The way I see it, I only lost a pound last week. So, this isn't a big deal. If I lose more than 2 lbs next week, I'll be concerned that I'm going too fast. (To date, the tracker says I've lost almost 15 lbs)

Man, if you'd told me six months ago that I'd be watching to make sure I wasn't losing weight too fast, I'd have said you were out of your mind. But, I've learned a lot since then. You can't lose too fast or your metabolism takes the hit and your weight loss won't be possible long term. Your body FREAKS out and thinks your starving it. It goes into "starvation mode" and slows the metabolism to keep you from dying during the "famine" you're in. You've got to eat enough to keep it going and losing rapidly is a sign that you're burning your muscle, not your fat stores, and your body will protect itself eventually by shutting down that "fire" so you don't get hurt.

That being said, I'm not worried this week. We'll see about next week. Until then, I'm going to rejoice that this week went great (despite eating SO MUCH FOOD and really splurging quite a bit). I can really do this. I'm finding myself really craving whole foods and that rocks. It's nice to have healthy food cravings sometimes (even if the horrible ones still get me). I know I can keep this up. I really really can. I have motivation this time. I have a purpose. I can do this. I KNOW I can.

I labored with my son for 37 hours. Most of that time was without any pain killers. I've already proven to myself that if I have a PURPOSE for the pain, for the struggle, then I WILL ENDURE as long as it takes. If I can be in labor for 37 hours, I sure as hell can manage some food cravings, some difficult workouts, being sick but eating right anyway, getting back into exercise after I get well again (I have a horrid cold right now - but did my hip hop dance for two hours anyway), and all the life-changing, old-thought overhauling needed to go from the gross, tired, weak, sick person I've been to the beautiful, healthy, strong, energized person I need to be for my family.

I just pray I get through the struggles that I know lie ahead. I'm learning from others. I'm building a support system of people who know me and people who don't. People who know me have derailed me in the past. They don't always practice tough love. My hope is that by surrounding myself with successful people who've done this and those who are going through this - people who've never met me but need me to succeed or want me to succeed - that I will have the support I need to get through the plateaus and the weight gain that is inevitable on this path to a healthy me.

I can't wait to see what this next week holds. Thank you, Lord, for this time in my life! Here we go!

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